It is so easy to say: ‘Oh, just write a positive affirmation about wanting to feel pretty, have a great figure, be the right size, and so on’. However, does this really work? It took me a long time to realise that unless I believed the beauty affirmations I was constantly saying to myself and writing down, they didn’t work. What do I mean by that?

why don’t beauty affirmations always work?

It is so easy to be told that all you need to do is:

  • work out a positive affirmation on feeling beautiful
  • write them down to get clear on how you want to feel
  • make them pretty if you want
  • plaster them all over the place as constant reminders
  • keep repeating them over and over again
  • and change will miraculously happen and you will feel beautiful.

Somehow this is meant to work. I don’t know about you, however, I began to wonder what I was doing wrong. This, of course, played into my being a failure, not getting it right and not being good enough, let alone pretty enough. My beauty affirmations simply weren’t working for me and a waste of time. I felt frustrated and in the end distressed. I was throwing my arms in the air with mini-tantrums happening in the quiet of my bathroom (and not in front of the mirror). Dramatic, yes. Helpful, no. For a while there, I lost faith in myself and my ability to do this.

Why, oh, why, wasn’t this working for me. Does this resonate with you? Then I found out why positive affirmations don’t work this way. What a relief! It all started to make sense. So I have looked into this further and it has changed my view on affirmations. And now they work, most of the time. If they don’t, it is because I don’t believe it and feel it in body, mind, and soul.

when do affirmations work?

When you believe in them. And feel them right to your core. You have to believe and feel your affirmation. Yes, when you have first created your affirmation, made it pretty and got yourself all excited about it, you feel on top of the world. This is it. This is going to change my life. And I am going to feel gloriously beautiful. Which of course, you are. Then after a few days, you come off your high and wonder why.

It is because you simply don’t feel it. You don’t connect to the affirmation you have created. You’ve worked with the prescribed formula and what you’ve been told. So why isn’t it happening?

Because, in effect, you are telling yourself a lie. Sounds harsh, I know. At first, I was so taken aback when someone pointed this out to me. And this doesn’t lead to the transformation you want. Nothing is that easy. If it was we would have a very positive and happy world.

It takes time. You don’t just wake up and you will be this amazingly positive person. As Oprah says: ‘what you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe‘.  For me affirmations were wishes. What I hoped for. Not what I believed and felt in my inner being. It was lip service. I was saying these scripted words without owning them. And they were scripted. Not from my heart. I didn’t believe them. So my positive always remained negative in the long run. And I gave my inner critic even more ammunition than it already had to fire at me.

how do you change from negative to positive?

You need to change your underlying belief system. What I had to do was learn what was the issue about me not feeling beautiful enough just the way I am. And then unlearn it. This takes time and courage. It is about having faith in yourself to get started, even if you can’t see the end result. Love this from Martin Luther King: ‘faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase’.

It is about taking that initial step to wanting to feel differently about yourself. To opening the space within to allow yourself to connect to what beautiful means for you. Not anyone else. Writing your own scripts that match your deep inner beliefs. And at the same time, weeding out are the beliefs you are currently holding that stop you from feeling positive about yourself.

where to start?

One way of starting is by sitting quietly with a journal and connecting to what you are feeling when you script your affirmation. Does it ring true? Does it feel right? Do you feel it at that deep inner level? If not, what is coming up for you? Keep writing it all down. And this way you can become familiar with your inner critic to be able to make thedesired you want. Your truth will begin to prevail. Remember, that truth will always set you free.

Another is to tap. I love tapping as it takes me to a deeper level. It gets to the nuts and bolts of the issue. Meditation helps me work it out. And tapping helps me release at that DNA level. A place where you don’t know what you are still holding on to, or that you even are.

And be prepared. It can bring up emotional discomfort. Stay with it. For you to be free, you need to let it go once and for all. It is so easy to move away with what is comfortable, despite the pain, as it is the unknown. However, this is not going to get those beauty affirmations happening the way you want them to. I have written more on this in my Unfold Your Freedom blog How to deal with emotional discomfort‘.

create a daily ritual

A lovely way to support yourself is by creating a daily ritual of connecting to your inner Beauty. I love doing this and I use a gorgeous journal and colourful pens. Again, you may like to read a blog on how to this to set you up for your day. Do have a read as it will give you ideas on how to apply this to your affirmations. Keep it simple to start with.

Take time to digest this information. See what resonates with you and what doesn’t. Be truthful with yourself as you know what is best for you. And get started.

If you needing a helping hand to help you get onto that first step, I can guide you to connecting to that amazing place where you feel beautiful It can feel scary to start with. However, I want you to start connecting to your amazing self.

There is so much more to life when you feel confident and attractive. I felt resigned for too many years which I now regret. I want to show you to how you can walk through your own journey combing my experience, learning and skills. Here is the link to my Unfold With Me page showing you the different ways you can work with me.

Love this post? Or know someone who needs to read this? Please share away! I would also love to hear what positive affirmations you are beginning to create and believe. Leave me a comment below ♥